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CNet reports that Microsoft is considering an update of Windows XP called "XP Reloaded."

“All of a sudden we realized we had no way to suck more money out of your pockets for a couple of years,” said a made-up Microsoft spokesperson, speaking on condition of not being real. “And all of a sudden there was this look on everyone’s face. So we said, ‘Heck, we might as well try it and see if anyone is dumb enough to pay for it.’ It worked for Windows98.”

The news comes as a surprise to anyone who actually thought Microsoft wait until Longhorn comes out to try and stick it to users’ wallets. Longhorn is estimated to come out in late 2005 or 2006 according to estimates, but no one at Microsoft is apparently dumb enough to make any predictions.

“Two reasons,” said the same imaginary spokesperson, “the first is that none of us are dumb enough to try and set a deadline when we work for a company that consistenly fails to meet them. Second, Bill warned us that if anyone leaked the internal schedule he’d send [Microsoft CEO Steve] Ballmer into our bedrooms late at night.”

Good news for Microsoft is that they hope to release Microsoft Office 2004 for Mac sometime in the calendar year 2004. “Yeah we’re kinda surprised that Apple hasn’t died yet, but as long as we can keep folks to fork over more than $300 for Office, we’re happy to have them as crippled competition.”

When asked how Office 2004 for Mac could have so many cool features not available for Windows, our source replied, “Well, you know, we do have a few creative people here, and we’re sort of at a loss as to what to do with them, so we put them over on the Mac division and that seems to make them happy. Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to introduce some feature in the next release of Office for Windows that will be incompatible with Office for Mac. We’re just not sure what that will be yet.”