t 'n t luoma

We had already been to the Monterey Aquarium and so we had wondered whether or not we wanted to go to another one. Actually I think we had planned to see the one in Oregon too except that there was that fiasco and we just ended up driving for 2½ days.

Ethan had such a good time at the first one that it seemed like a good bet, plus it was part of the CityPass about which I have already given my two thumbs up review.

We planned to take the whole day, which is always risky because if you find that you aren’t enjoying yourself then there’s no backup plan. As soon as we walked in I knew there would be no problem filling the day, there was a chart listing all the activities for the day, which seemed to be at least 2 or 3 per hour. Law of averages tells you that you will like some of them. (Insider Tip: Not only do they rent strollers, but they will look after your stroller if you ask them to and put it in a secure back room so you don’t have to keep an eye on it all day and push it around with you, but you can get access to it if you want it. I’m not sure what genius came up with this idea, but I bet they have kids.)

The first was the octopus feeding. Let me just say that an octopus is not an attractive creature. Say whatever you like about them, don’t say they aren’t ugly or everyone will start to think you are either delusional or a liar. They are, however, undeniably cool, and don’t argue or the same evaluation will take place. I mean if 8 legs aren’t enough (and I think we’ll all agree that 8 is enough.... sorry, had to be said), then how about 8 legs with hundreds of suction cups? That’s cool^2, or maybe cool^8....

During the feeding, the guide told us that last week the female octopus had climbed out of the tank during the night. You might ask, “Can an octopus live outside of its tank?” The answer would be no. However, if you asked if the fact that an octoput can climb out of its tank can give you a major case of the heebie-jeebies, that answer would be an emphatic yes. Apparently one of the night crew found it outside the tank and put it into a holding tank. Fortunately for the octopus I was not the night crew member who found it, because I would have either passed out on the floor (most likely after “inking” myself) or there would have been a Tim-shaped hole in the wall ala Looney Toons and I would have stopped running and screaming approximately the same time the Australian Border Patrol was asking to see my passport (also most likely after inking myself). I hope they gave him a raise or a bonus or something, because you gotta expect that being night watch at the aquarium is relatively smooth sailing and here’s a guy who had the wherewithal and intestinal fortitude to pick up this nasty looking beast of suction cup death and keep it alive so that a bunch of tourists can watch it eat fish off a stick and take pictures like it was the lunar landing.

The whole aquarium was just too cool with stuff to see and do. There was a cutout octopus for kids to put their heads through for goofy tourist parents to take their pictures. There were starfish for you to reach out and touch and for goofy tourist parents to take pictures of their kids touching, like they are old enough to know that it’s a bit creepy to touch something that looks and seems docile but could any minute now just jump up and suck your face until your brain turns to lumpy stew. There was an archway with jellyfish (or “jellies” as my dear bride keeps insisting on calling them since that is what they called them in the Monterery Aquarium) which just keep circling around and around underneath multicolored lights for goofy tourist parents to take pictures of their kids under.

Tracey was very interested to see the Sea Horse feeding, which I missed while watching Ethan hammer some random piece of the aquarium into submission. She learned that the male sea horse carries the sea horse babies while they are gestating. She thought that was very cool. I thought that the Sea Horse had probably been watching too much Oprah and probably took a lot of razzing from pretty much the entire rest of the ocean population, including the jellyfish which don’t have a brain but would probably still find a Jelly-specific way of mocking the Sea Horse. Then I read that the Sea Horse “dad” sometimes carries eggs for different females at the same time. They have a name for that kind of behavior, but I won’t use it in mixed company, and by mixed I mean people without a sense of humor and the rest of us who are laughing anyway.

Goofy tourist parent can take pictures of the Sea Horses, but no flash photography, please... he needs his beauty rest, and besides his ankles are swollen with all that excess pregnancy weight and would rather not have his picture taken anyway. (Question: when looking at a species, what is it that decides “male” versus “female” if it isn’t a question of which one bears the young? Cuz that’s usually a pretty good indicator in like 99.999999999% of the cases I’ve heard, and I wonder why they made the exception in this case.)

We saw a ton of other cool fish too, and more sea otters which are just fun to watch. The day went very quickly and before we knew it, it was time to go to the IMAX theatre which had THREE different movies playing: The Eruption of Mount St. Helens, Ocean Oasis, and The Living Sea. They were all cool, although Ocean Oasis was a little heavy handed with the whole agenda of “We are all connected so don’t pollute” which I’m guessing is probably preaching to the choir for 92.5% of the people who actually go to see an IMAX movie called Ocean Oasis. The Living Sea had Sting playing in the background for the majority of it as well, so don’t go if you can’t stand so close to him. It was narrated by Meryl Streep, whose narrating voice could probably put anyone to sleep, especially if you were in a very dark room with a nearly-two-year-old napping on you.

The Mount St. Helens was probably my favorite, although they were all good, even with the social agendas and sleepy narration (I like Sting, so that was a plus for me). It’s amazing to me that I have even a vague recollection of something that happened 24 years ago. I think I’m going to pretend that I don’t remember hearing about that when it happened or anything. After all, who would believe me anyway?

3 IMAX movies and a full day at the Aquarium later, we did go back to the Claim Jumper (and I did make a point to say hello again to the really nice manager lady from yesterday). Food was equally delish. Came home and had a little more of my amazingly good cheesecake, which I have now sampled for 3 days and still have a little bit left. There just might be something to this whole not eating everything all at once thing... instead of having cheesecake for 1 day, I’ll have it for 4, and anyone can tell you that 4 days with cheesecake is better than 1.