t 'n t luoma

We have come across several different places which seem to have signage designed for people who know where they are going. There will be a sign that points in one direction, but when you reach the turn it is not always clear if this is the turn or if it is up ahead.... or there will be signs for awhile and then no signs. “Did we miss it?”

When we finally arrived at the carousel, Ethan was sound asleep, and it had taken long enough that we were now hungry. So we decided to drive on to the Oakland Zoo and try to find something to eat. We found the zoo easy enough, but no restaurants. So we got back on the highway and headed towards “Downtown Oakland.”

As we were approaching, we saw a sign for Jack London Square, which Yvette had mentioned as someplace we might want to check out. So we did. Or we tried to. We ended up getting off an exit too soon (two exits right next to each other, and the first one took two lanes off with it). We thought we might find our way without getting back on the highway, and drove around looking in vain for either another sign or any restaurant.

Then the “low gas” light went on in the rental car.

Now in my car I get about 70 miles after the “low gas” light goes on, but this was not my car, this is a rental car. So now we need to look for a restaurant, or a sign for Jack London Square, or a gas station.

We circled around and around several times. The only food places we saw were of the Asian variety, and since we just had Chinese yesterday, that wasn’t what we were in the mood for (nor McDonalds, which we have at home).

Finally we (and by “we” I mean Tracey) found a gas station....and the pump wouldn’t take my credit card. So I gave it to the attendant ($2.23 per gallon for the 87 octane! Eek!) and asked her if there was anywhere around to eat. She said there were some on the street we were on. (How we had missed this street for the previous 45 minutes I’m not sure.)

So we headed back out, no longer at risk for running out of gas, and sure enough, there were several places. We found a public parking garage, and Ethan woke up from another super-size nap. We went to a cheese-steak place. How good was it? I had two.

Right after we placed our order, Tracey went to the bathroom. I put Ethan down to go fill up our drink cup, and he promptly walked over to a woman sitting at a table and started to reach for her french fries. (A little too trusting, that kid.) When I went to retrieve him, he put his hands up to the lady and said, “Mommommom” Not sure if he was actually confused or just trying hard to get himself some fries. “Sorry about that, just woke up from a nap and he’s a little out of it,” I said. “He’s very cute,” she said.

By the way, after almost 2 years of living with this adorable child, I still don’t know what the proper response is when people say, “He’s cute” or “He's adorable” or any of the other things that they say to him. Of course they are true (do I really need to reference specific DDOE pictures for you skeptics out there?!?) but what am I supposed to say? “Thank you” sounds the most polite, but it sounds like I’m taking credit for it. Sure I contributed 50% of his genes, but it wasn’t like I mixed the DNA myself in some combination to come up with the blond hair/blue eyes/chipmunk cheeky smile. “Yeah, isn’t he?” is my next choice response, which sounds not only like I’m taking credit, but also bragging.

However, I have noticed that when we’re walking through a crowded area and someone does not notice how cute he is, I will sometimes think to myself, “How did they not see him? I bet they would have smiled if they had stopped to take a look at how cute this kid is.”

Anyway, after I had finished my first sub and was waiting for my second (they were that good) Tracey went out to buy Girl Scout cookies from some kids on the street (who were, presumably, Girl Scouts, given the uniform, apparent gender, and the fact that they were peddling cookies on the street corner). She returned with: a donut and milk. Actually two donuts and milk. “Look Ethan, mommy brought you one too!” she said. “Hrm, I wonder if perhaps mommy just couldn’t make up her mind?” I ventured. (One gets bold after a certain number of years of marriage. Very bold considering that without her my chances of finding the Freeway without needing another tank of gas were rather slim.) “That too” she said.

“What happened to the Girl Scout cookies?” I asked. “I’ve got Girl Scout cookies at home” she said. (It’s true. Despite her husband going low-carb, the woman brought Thin Mints into the house. Cruel, I tell you.)

Now this might seem strange to some of you, that a person would say express a desire for X, have X at their disposal, and instead choose Y. If this seems strange to you, I would be willing to venture that you are very likely not married. This is not uncommon in our life together. I have learned that no decision is final until the money has been exchanged and the goods have been received. You may doubt Woman’s Intuition if you choose, but never question Woman’s Prerogative. The important thing to understand is that this seemingly lightning-fast change is not (generally speaking) due to a fickle nature or being unsure of one’s self. I have never known Tracey to purchase something and then regret it (a.k.a buyer’s remorse) with the obvious exception of such things as picking a menu item and then have it not be as good as one hoped.

No, what is happening here is multi-level processing going on over a variable period of time. Let me explain.... no, there is no time, let me sum up: women (and by “women” of course I mean “taking my observations of Tracey and extrapolating them to be normative for the vast majority of the female population.” Did I mention that my degrees are non-scientific ones? That point is perhaps obvious to many if not all of those who have met me or who have read this far) operate with a different set of priorities and values, which then form into a different set of guiding principles for things such as buying a post-lunch dessert/snack item.

Tracey’s method of reasoning went something like this: At some point in the past (could be days/weeks/months, depending on the item in question) Tracey had some form of desire for “X” which was either unavailable at the time (if X = donut then there were none in the house), available at too great of an expense/inconvenience (“I could drive to the store to get a donut, but that’s more trouble than it’s worth to me) or she simply chose to ignore it (“There are donuts here, and I want one, but I’m not going to have one anyway [for whatever reason]).

Now this desire was of a decidedly different sort than a man’s (and by “man” I am of course using myself as a normative example. See above disclaimer). Whereas I would probably have done something immediately to satisfy that desire (i.e. go get a donut and eat it when I wanted it), this desire was contained and put on the back burner for the time being, until a point when the axis of desire and availability met, and she bought a donut (actually 2, but Ethan did end up eating the majority of one of them). From my observation, her enjoyment of the donut was significant, and probably much greater than it would have been if there had been one at hand or if she had expended a great deal of energy in acquiring one when she first wanted one. Although she claimed to have been “jonesing” for a donut for days, one has to weigh that characterization against the reality of possibilities. Had I, for example, been craving donuts strong enough to qualify for a “jonesing” characterization, I would have driven until I found a place which sold them, and then bought and consumed them, that’s right them as in more than one. Had I been craving Girl Scout Cookies enough to qualify for a “jonesing” title, I would have bought them and likely consumed at least one-half of the box. Had availability of either been an issue, it is not unlikely that either a baker or a Girl Scout might have been roughed up in the process. (Those are just some of the reasons why I no longer eat donuts or Girl Scout Cookies.)

Thus ends the foundational explanation of “Delayed Gratification 101.”

But this is not just an Intro course, and we are not observing the actions of an amateur. If you have paid close attention, you might have already figured out the next part of this cycle.

The Girl Scout Cookies.

When I asked her why she had not purchased the Girl Scout Cookies, her answer was “I have them at home.” While this is true, it is no more true than the fact that we also have donuts available at home (not in the house, but available daily at various locations around town). So why the donut over the Girl Scout Cookies today? The Girl Scout Cookies were clearly available (I have no idea where she found the donut, I hadn’t noticed a bakery) and there was even someone else in the shop wearing a Girl Scout uniform, so as to reinforce the desire.

One would presume that upon leaving the shop, she went to buy the Girl Scout Cookies, only to see the donut. By diverting from her original course, she not only completed one cycle (which we’ll call “The Donut Desire”) but she began a second cycle, namely “The Girl Scout Cookie Cycle.” She can now continue that cycle until we return home, at which point she can, at her leisure, enjoy the Girl Scout Cookies which are currently residing in our refrigerator.

So that brings us to about 2 p.m. (For those still reading, the rest of the day went more quickly.)

After we had refueled car and self, there were restaurants and gas stations around ever corner. It was like some twisted food/gas kharma joke where the gods were messing with us just for the fun of it.

We went on to the zoo. Having been to a zoo in the afternoon before, we should have known what to expect: lazy animals. The best time to visit a zoo is generally early in the day. By 3 or 4 p.m. the animals are apparently weary of the tourists (at least one exhibit was being further roped off because the animals had “had enough” of the stimulation. So we saw lions sleeping, birds sitting on their nests, etc. Not a whole lotta romping going on. Not a huge loss. Ethan is a bit too young to really care about seeing animals in a zoo.

Having realized that we had not taken many pictures the first few days, I took several yesterday. However we also discovered the one thing we did not pack: the recharger for the camera. I hoped that the battery would last a few more days, but the picture here is the one and only picture it would take today. So we stopped at Circuit City and bought a new recharger. Hopefully it will work and tomorrow we will be able to take more pictures at the beaglefest.

Upon our arrival back at the house, Ethan and Kush resumed their playing mode until bedtime... which sounds like a good plan for your friendly neighborhood vacation narrator as well.

Until we meet again...