t 'n t luoma

News.com is reporting that Symbian will hang on to smart phone OS lead through the decade, despite continued threat from Microsoft.

Apparently smart phone developers are smart enough to want to keep Microsoft at bay, before they take over yet another platform and destroy any competition there.

And who makes the main browser for Symbian? That would be Opera for Smartphones. Don’t just take my word for it, read about the Symbian/Opera connection and the rave reviews Opera has gotten there.

(Of course you can also use Opera on Windows, Mac, Linux, FreeBSD, Solaris, OS/2, BeOS, and QNX.

Why Opera? I’m glad you asked. That’s actually the first entry in my series 30 Days to becoming an Opera Lover.

Posted by TjL at 03:08 PM | Permalink

Two dogs in the news today, a good dog and a dumb dog.

Posted by TjL at 06:42 PM | Permalink

The Daily Dose of Ethan is a daily picture of our son, from the day he was born up through today.

New picture every weekday, over the weekend we run a Caption Contest where you get to submit your own caption in the vain hope of winning fabulous gifts and prizes which we don’t really have to offer. But you do get your name on a web page under the word “Winner” and really, what more can you ask of a Monday morning?

Posted by TjL at 12:04 PM | Permalink

BBC is reporting outrage that American TV network CBS showed pictures of Princess Di receiving medical care after her (eventually fatal) car accident.

One keen observer noted that apparently CBS thinks Janet Jackson’s nipple is cause for an official apology, but someone on the verge of death is acceptable.

Personally I think CBS will just do anything to get people to watch their network which, by the way, makes them exactly like 99% of the television networks.

Posted by TjL at 12:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Opera 7.5 beta 1 released.

First, View screenshot.

Then: Go get it.

Install it in a new directory (do not install it over your old Opera installation. It is beta, and it does have some significant changes, especially to mail)

Launch it. Love it.

That is all.

Posted by TjL at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Please note that I would like you to dry up the constant runnyness of my nose due to allergies.

I only mention this because you seem to be confused about the purpose of my injesting you on a regular basis, as thus far you seem to have only succeeded in drying out my tongue.

So if you could reach a just a little higher, that would be great. If I could have my saliva back, even better.

That is all.

Posted by TjL at 12:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Wireless broadband may get more spectrum (via Cnet), Wi-Fi on Steroids Heads for U.S. (via Wired).

Long story short: wireless broadband is being tested for remote areas.

We live in a remote area.

Satellite internet is awful. How bad? I cancelled DirecWay to go back to dialup. That bad.

Please hurry. I’m connecting at 21.6 kbps through my phone line... on good days.

Posted by TjL at 12:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Taxes have always been for the dogs, but now there is a dog tax form.

Happy Tax Day to all our readers in the USA.

Posted by TjL at 12:08 PM | Permalink

Hobo Signs (hat tip: Mimi).

Very interesting to see the language these folks created to let others know what to expect.

Posted by TjL at 09:11 AM | Permalink

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalise.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

From Pastor Tim’s CleanLaugh List (note: different Pastor Tim) which is wonderful. 1 email per day, with a humorous, clean joke in it. I recommend it highly.

Posted by TjL at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today I went to the post office. I had a package that I needed to send, so the post office seemed a logical choice, because those folks at the library have a terrible performance for delivering packages in a timely fashion.

While at the counter, the clerk told me that I needed “one of the red white and blue forms from that counter” behind me.

I would have liked to explain that I am a) partially color blind and b) nonetheless still quite certain that 99% of the forms in the post office have some combination of red, white, and blue on them and it would be a lot easier if they just labelled things clearly.

But I was having a good day, and didn’t feel like being contrary.

If I had felt like it, I might have explained that their entire naming system is somewhat confusing. For those who may be considering moving to the United States, I will give you an overview of the various categories. Less fun information can be found at the United States Post Office Domestic Postal Rates and Fees (Simplified) chart.

First Class

“First class” is a complete and utter misnomer. Do not be fooled by its simple elegance and good looks. Do not be seduced by the thought that “first class” mail is in any way comparable to “first class” air travel. No one will offer your package a hot towel or an extra pillow. There will be no in-flight movie, no special beverage service. It will not be given preferential treatment in any way.

You would be wise to consider “first class postage” to be the equivalent of “coach” when flying. Everyone is stuffed in together. You may be comfortable, maybe not. Your neighbor may be encroaching on your personal space. Given that the post office 680 million pieces of mail per day (about 28 million an hour, or about a half-million per minute) I would expect it to be a little cramped back here.

When will it get there? “A couple of days, usually,” which means unless it was lost, or stuck to something else, or fell down the well. What do you expect for a lousy 37¢? [more on pricing below]

Priority Mail

“Priority” to me would indicate “Everything else is less important” but then again this is the government so whatever you might logically think is sure to be wrong.

When will it get there? “Faster than first class.” Usually. Probably. Under most circumstances. There are a lot of factors which have to be determined before that can be answered. I don’t just want to speculate on that kind of thing.

Express Mail

If you've been to the grocery store and been in the “express” lane you might think that means “It’s supposed to be faster but really isn’t because you know that woman has more than 12 items, not to mention 47 coupons.... and she’s paying in loose change.... except she won't have enough so she’ll have to write a check.... but of course she doesn’t have a check cashing card, so they have to come over and have her submit to a cavity search and ask her to fill out paperwork only 2 pages less than the average mortgage, before giving her a plastic card that she will just stick in her purse, only to find a dollar bill that could have avoided this whole problem if she had just found it 30 minutes ago.

If that has been your “Express Lane” experience, then it may be difficult to understand this, but Express really means “Overnight.” Now you may ask, gentle reader, why the post office did not simply call it “Overnight Delivery” which would then make it very clear even to those who aren’t sure what the difference is between “First Class” and “Priority” and “Express”

When will it get there? “Overnight, guaranteed. If not, we’ll give you your money back. Not your package, of course, if that didn’t make it there with all the big ‘Express Mail’ stickers all over the box, it’s probably gone forever. Could be someone figured it was valuable and took it. Might have been sent to Boise, which happens sometimes, no one really knows why. They don’t send them back, either. They get all secretive about stuff like that. Yup, Boise is a regular ol’ Area 51 of the postal service. Always has been, back to the days of the Pony Express, when they’d keep the ponies and the mail, and pretend that they were just wild horses. Crazy... Anyway, where were we?”

Second Class

There is no Second Class mail. Never has been, never will be. Starbucks doesn’t sell “small” coffee and we don’t have any second class mail.

Those who want to say that “Express Mail” gets the top treatment and therefore Priority Mail should be considered “Second Class” mail (which would then logically bump the existing “First Class” designation down to “Third Class”) are clearly dangerous individuals who should be watched. That kind of logic will not be tolerated around here.

Third Class

We have First Class mail, but no Second Class mail, and now we have no Third Class mail. We used to have Third Class mail, even without Second Class mail. Don’t ask us how, it’s very scientific and you wouldn’t understand. Those who say that the application for Second Class mail was obviously sent via Third Class mail and never arrived are just meanspirited.

The Mail Formerly Known as Third Class is now called Standard Mail (A). No, I am not kidding. No, there is no “Standard Mail (B)” nor is there “Standard Mail (C).”

I will not be answering any more questions along the lines of “Is there a Standard Mail (insert letter here)?” There is just “Standard Mail (A).” The ways in which it is Standard and how it qualifies for “(A)” are private matters of national security covered by the Patriot Act, so don’t ask.

When will it get there? Whether or not Third Class... err, I mean, Standard Mail (A) ever arrives is clearly a private matter between the sendee and the sender, but just between you and me, it’s not very likely to ever get there. Most of this stuff is sent by people who get paid to send out a lot of stuff, and most of the stuff that is sent isn’t stuff that anyone asked for or wanted, so who’s going to notice if it never shows up?

Book Rate

This is something small and worthless that I wanted to send and I’m amazingly cheap, so I thought I would send it book rate and hoped no one notices that it isn’t really a book anyway.

When will it get there? Probably never. This method has a high failure rate because it us used to infrequently the post office opens and inspects every piece sent via book rate. After all, sending it Third Clas— I mean, “Standard Mail (A)” would usually cost about $0.07 more, so if someone is really that cheap, the folks down at the Post Office are immensely curious to see what they are giving up. Usually it is found to be a diary of no emotional or practical value that no one really wants to throw away, or a small broken pocketwatch that used to belong to your great-great-great grandfather’s uncle which your grandfather’s uncle keeps trying to say is a family heirloom, but really it’s just a broken old watch and no one wants it, but no one wants to be the one who threw it away either. So the post office will throw it away for you, and when your grandfather’s uncle calls to see if you like it, you can blame it on the post office. There is currently no extra charge for this service.

Parcel Post

This is something heavy and worthless that I wanted to send. It’s actually a sofabed with a compressed wood frame which is amazingly uncomfortable to sit on or sleep on. Did I mention it’s extremely heavy. And the box is falling apart. Actually, we found the box from Mom’s 1946 Frigidaire ®, wrapped it with some duct tape and brought her down to the post office in JimBob’s truck.

When will it get there? It will still be in the back office of the post office twenty years from now, with the crushed skeleton of Ed “Skinny” Wilson underneath it from when he said that he could move it without any help and the other guys just let him. The post office will deliver a yellow sticker to the door of the recipient which reads: “We tried to deliver the incredibly heavy, painfully uncomfortable sofabed that was packed in your Mom’s 1946 Frigidaire ® box wrapped in duct tape, but you were not home. We will try to deliver it three more times when we know from CIA satellite footage that you are not at home, at which point it will be your responsibility to come down and pick it up from the post office. By the way, the sofabed is wanted for questioning by the local authorities in connection with a missing persons report filed by the wife of Mr. Edward Wilson, postal employee number 56278-9528. Not responsible for items held more than 30 days.”

Bulk Rate

This is junk mail. It is delivered randomly to whomever we dang well please, whenever we dang well please, and there’s just no stopping us, so don’t even try.

When will it get there? All the live-long day. Bulk mail accounts for approximately 660 million pieces of mail per day.

Pricing

Postage rates in the United States is remarkably cheap. Anyone who doubts this should stand on the street corner and ask someone to do you a favor for 37¢. Hrm... on second thought, I would NOT suggest standing on the street corner and asking anyone to do you a favor for 37¢. You might get arrested, and you would definitely get some strange looks.

Try this: go outside and hand a note to a stranger and ask them to deliver it to someone else. Tell them it is private and very important. Then hand them 37¢. See what happens. Now tell them that the someone else lives across town... or across the state... or across the country. And you are still paying them 37¢.

No one should complain that postage is too high. It is fair and reasonable, however, to complain about the increments that postage comes in. Reviewing the History of First-Class Stamp Rates (don’t you love the web? You can find anything out there) reveals that since approximately 1991 the post office has shown a strong aversion to ending stamp prices with either a 0 or a 5. Now perhaps this was understandable given that they were starting with a 4¢ increase after a series of 2-3¢ increases, but I think we all would have been happier if they had just gone to 30¢ and then waited until they needed to go to 40¢

Instead they went 29 cents, no, wait, 32, did I say 32? I meant 33. No wait, 34. Ha ha, you might think we're going to 35 or 36 next but you would be wrong wrong wrong because we're going to jump 37 next, then 39 and 41. Eventually it will be 97 and then $1.01. It's all part of our promise here in the US government to keep from using even numbers, or any number that ends with a 0 or a 5. The IRS, however, will offer you a number that ends with a 5 when it comes to mileage, specifically $0.375, but even then you know they're just messing with you because there's no such thing as $0.005 so just round it up like you always do when you turn in your mileage report, which is OK because the gas prices always end with 9/10th of a cent and we all know that’s just plain lying.

And finally...

(I said “and finally” so you’d know that I was almost done.) I told the folks at the post office that I thought the charge to send my package was amazingly low, especially considering that Gallipolis isn't exactly like a metro hub of the world. One clerk said “We have space on every flight in the country.” Another clerk added that they also share space with Airborne Express, FedEx, and UPS, and then said “One day we’re all going to merge and will be known as the “United FedUp Airborne Post Office” which I think is just about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard said about the mail.

Posted by TjL at 05:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

CNet reports that there is growing concern over browser security.

What is truly sad is to realize how many (not all but I would say 99%) of these exploits require Internet Explorer.

Tired of having your browser unlock the door to your computer? Have you considered Opera? Never heard of Opera? Try 30 Days to Becoming an Opera Lover.

Posted by TjL at 02:49 PM | Permalink

It all happened so fast, none of us really knows exactly what happened, but thanks to the ultra-fast speed of our new digital camera we were able to record the events as they unfolded.

Needless to say we're all quite shaken up.

Parents, you might want to send the kids out of the room before viewing these Pictures of the Tragedy.... I mean, they shouldn’t be exposed to this sort of thing.... but then again, maybe they need to know that these things can happen, and that they need to be careful. It’s a jungle out there.

If that’s not enough to scare you try this.

Posted by TjL at 05:50 PM | Permalink

Can you pass the 3rd grade?

It took me two attempts.... not in real life, I mean the computerized version above. I only got 35 on the first try but I spent at least 10 seconds laughing when the page first came up. Plus some of them are tricky to place precisely!

Also, for what it's worth, I had this material in the FIFTH grade not the THIRD but apparently whoever put the test together had advanced placement or something.

Posted by TjL at 02:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

When Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez arrived to conquer Mexico, he ordered his men to “burn the ships” that had carried them to the new land. This forced them to decide if they were going to “fight or die” (as it is claimed he said to them).

I did my own version of it today: I got rid of all the clothes that I fit into 6 months ago. Of course I didn’t so much burn them as brought them to the consignment shop, and of course Cortez’s men did not have the option of going down to the local Wal-Mart and buying a new ship, which I could do if I need bigger pants. But it’s a metaphor, so we’ll let the incongruities slide. At least they are out of the house, and buying bigger clothes will be a lot more of a conscious effort than just starting to wear different pants from a different hanger.

At least 50% (probably closer to 75%) of what was in my closet no longer fits. That is actually not uncommon for me; in fact it has been true for several years. The difference is that now most is too big, rather than too small. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but I managed to go from having an abundance of one to the abundance of another without ever really hitting a point where I had a lot of clothes that fit. I guess that’s the “downside” of losing 60 pounds (or “about 3 Ethans” as we call it at home). The upside, of course, is not having enough spare tire around my waist to restock a NASCAR racer.

I have just passed the 6-month mark of going low-carb. Now before everyone tells me to prepare to die of kidney failure (a myth so strong that folks in the low-carb world refer to it as “the vampire myth” since it refuses to die), I should say that it was my doctor who recommended that I get the book and read it. He also referred to it as a “lifestyle change” as in “If you are ready to change the way that you eat....”

Now I will admit what others have observed, that there is a lot of misunderstanding about Atkins/low-carb eating (next time someone tells you they are “doing Atkins” ask them what the 4 stages are. If they don’t know, they aren’t doing Atkins). I think most of it stems from people not reading “the book” and just sort of thinking that they can skip the bun on the hamburger and that will be that. That is not a critique of low-carb as a way of living/eating, of course, it is a critique of culture, of our fascination with fads, with our obsession over losing weight fast & easy without work. That is not what Atkins is about. It may be what you see a lot of people think Atkins is about, but they’re wrong. Atkins is not eat all the meat and eggs you want. Atkins is about changing the way that you eat for life and finding what foods trigger weight gain. For many (myself included) the wrong kind of carbs and simple sugars turn into something not unlike an addiction. Some even say that it is an addition. (I know someone who claimed that the 3 most addictive substances in the world were nicotine, caffeine, and sugar but the government gets their cut of the profits from each, so they don’t care much about those.)

Anyway, to mark my 6-month “anniversary” we went through my closet and took out all the stuff that no longer fits. Or, I should say, no longer fits well. After all, technically this shirt still fits but I think the fact that Ethan and I can both fit into it together indicates that it does not fit well. I used to wear that shirt a lot. You can see it here and here and here. Dear Lord, in that last picture I’m probably wearing a bigger t-shirt than Albert the Alligator! (Note: when you are wearing clothes large enough to fit over a mascot, that’s a WARNING SIGN.)

How is it going? Well in January I posted low-carb before and after pictures. My weight hasn’t changed much since then, although it has definitely shifted around some, as I recently went to 36" pants. The pants I was wearing in the July 12th “before” picture were 44" and my 17.5" neck is now a 16" which seems much more reasonable.

I can fit into shorts that I bought on our honeymoon, so that puts me at about the same size I was in 1995 right after college and before seminary. I’m not sure what my next goal is. Ideally I would love to get back to about a 32" waist, which is what I was when I arrived in college. A couple of charts have said my ideal weight is about 166. Well I don’t know if I can get back to that weight (I don’t ever remember being below 170, and I’m not sure I remember that!!!) so right now I’m setting intermediate goals: 190, 185, 180. After that we’ll see how it goes.

They say no man is an island, but I was getting close.

“Low-Carb: Because being hungry all the time is not an option.” (my motto for why low-fat never worked.)

Posted by TjL at 02:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

There’s a joke here somewhere.

CNN is currently running a poll: “Do you think the U.S. job market is improving?”

Current results: 46% (49747 votes) say yes and 54% (57750 votes) say no.

What’s more interesting is that the results page (linked above) offers a “Related” link that says U.S. job growth soars (don’t click that link, read on).

Except that the link is 404.

Hrm.

Is this a belated April Fool’s day joke? Is the job growth soaring or not? Has the White House infiltrated CNN to spread propaganda that the job market is improving?

Nope, thanks to Google I found the story: U.S. job growth soars (printer friendly version). If you examine the URLs it is easy to see what what happened was that someone put the wrong hostname in (www.cnn.com instead of money.cnn.com). Accidents happen.

Well it was fun(ny) while it lasted. At least to me.

Posted by TjL at 02:29 PM | Permalink

I’m glad someone else wrote this up so I didn’t have to: What’s the Plural of ‘Virus’?

Posted by TjL at 09:23 AM | Permalink