t 'n t luoma

I stumbled across this glowing recommendation for SonicWall that I gave awhile ago on their website.

Looking back, I still remember that experience. I don't remember how they contacted me, but I got a free box (the first time I ever beta tested hardware).

This was before you could get a Linksys or D-Link or whatever at the local Wal-Mart. This was 1997 and cable modems were rare. SonicWall was ahead of their time, for sure. I haven't had a chance to use their hardware since (they never seemed to have gotten into the likes of Best Buy and Circuit City) but I'd definitely give them another go.

Kinda cool to still be the customer quote ;-)

Posted by TjL at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Ok, so nobody except my brother mentioned the site redesign.

Is anyone reading this?

I mean, I know the Crazy Insane Cat People are reading this, because every few months I'll get some obsenity-laden email telling me what they think of me for posting that dogs are better than cats.

Anyway, the redesign took place in two parts:

Part 1) a color change for readability;

Part 2) the former static masthead picture (a really nice picture of the 3 of us from March 2003's Ethan Fest taken by Mimi Kahn) was replaced. Although I still like the picture, it was almost a year old (aka "ancient" in both Internet Time and Boy-Isnt-Ethan-Growing-Up-Fast Time)

So I decided to do something I had thought about doing for some time: rotating thumbnails (wow, I just realized that sounds like some torture procedure).

The idea is this: show a selection of pictures from the Daily Dose of Ethan, which is really the primary reason for this site to exist.

There are 7 pictures at the top because that's how many could fit across the screen at 800x600, which I think is a reasonable compromise.

The first 3 pictures are static: Ethan at birth, at 1 year, and at 2 years.

The last 4 are dynamic and change every day. From left to right they show Ethan one year ago, 6 months ago, 3 months ago, and today.

Each of the pictures links to the corresponding page from the DDOE.

Note: the rest of the post is rather geeky.

The disappointing thing (to me) is that the pictures had to be in a table (1 cell down and 7 across) because there was no way that I could find to line up 7 images next to one another using pure CSS.

My original thought was to write a PHP function to pull up the images. Then I realized that was a total waste of processor time. Every time a page was accessed, it would have to run the PHP code, and no matter how efficiently I wrote the code, there was going to be a lot of waste. Why should it recalculate it for every page when the information will only change once every 24 hours? Like I always say, "Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

So instead I wrote a simple /bin/sh script which calculates the correct dates. The good news is that GNU Date makes this fairly easy to calculate 90 days, 180 days, and 365 days ago using the --date flag. However, there was one catch: there is no DDOE picture on Saturday or Sunday. Therefore, if 90/180/365 days ago = Saturday, I added 1 to the date to make it Friday. If it was a Sunday, I subtracted 1 to make it a Monday.

The /bin/sh script then creates a static HTML document which is called by PHP.

Since the site is mainly controlled by MovableType, it was a simple matter of editing my template. Those pages which were not controlled by MovableType are controlled by PHP, and I already had a global header variable declared, so by changing that, I was able to change all the files.

All in all, only about 5-6 pages needed to be changed in order for the entire site (or at least about 95% of it) to be updated.

One of these days I need to update to MovableType 3, which I'm using on some other sites and is a huge improvement over MT2.

Posted by TjL at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Rijk was kind enough to point out that my offline version of the CSS2.1 sidebar is out of date.

Rijk's Panelizer is a collection of Sidebars for Opera (may work in Firefox too, but since I don't use it, I can't say for sure).

Most notable in the collection (for me at least) is an updated version of the CSS2.1 Sidebar which points to the CSS2.1 Candidate Recommendation (CR) rather than the older and outdated Working Draft.

Rijk has been nice enough to provide a zip file you can download and use offline.

See also: Rijk's Tweak Opera page and other sidebars here at TnTLuoma.

Posted by TjL at 10:28 AM | Permalink

Hey, there's a really good article on progressive rock in today's Vermont Guardian. I wonder who wrote it?

Posted by TjL at 02:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

(two notes in 1)

Just how big of a Blue's Clues fan is Ethan?

Tracey went to Home Depot the other day, and Ethan wouldn't leave until she bought him a mailbox.

He just sat in his Thinking Chair and called for Mailbox.

He's learned more of the song:

Fin' yer first pawprint [which sounds a lot like 'ballpit']
That's yer first clue
Put it in yer notebook
cuz there whooseclooze?
Blues Clues

A.dor.a.ble.

In other news: I was making Ethan some bacon and I asked him how many pieces he wanted. He said "Two." Then he said, "Spiderman wants two."

"So you want two and Spiderman wants two?"

"Yes"

I thought it was just a sneaky was of saying "four" but he just ate two. I guess Spiderman's eyes were bigger than his stomach.

Posted by TjL at 01:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

(or: "The Day the Piano Ate My Cell Phone")

So I was down at the church reviewing for my "Fundamentals of Music" class that I'm taking Monday nights at the local community college. I was sitting at the piano with my workbook and cardboard cutout keyboard "cheat sheet" ploinking out single whole note after single whole note. Atop the piano was my cell phone, as I was awaiting a call from my Dad's doctor and possibly Tracey.

I stood up and went to step away from the piano.

It's not exactly clear what happened next.

I think I went to close the cover that goes over the piano keys (you know, the piece of wood that flips up/down) which was fine except that my cell phone was partially resting on top of it. When the cover moved forward, it pulled my cell phone forward as well, except that the rest of it came off the top, it no longer had anything under it, so it did what Newton said it would do, it fell.

And by "fell" I mean it slid onto the cover that goes over the piano keys; specifically, it slid on the lovely and most likely hand-carved curved wood of the cover, and landed with a resoundingly dull and quiet thud.

Yes, my phone had found its way into that purgatory of space between the keyboard and the body of the piano. Like so many thousands, nay millions, of pencils which I suspect have suffered the same fate across the world over the years since pianos and rotating piano key covers were first invented, it was now resting where no piano-designer had ever anticipated anything resting.

The cover to the keyboard was able to fully close, but could no longer fully open.

Several thoughts went through my mind. A few of them were actually suitable for a sanctuary. A small sampling would include:

"What if the doctor's office calls?"

"Heck, what if someone calls during worship?"

"How in the world did that happen? I couldn't do that again if I tried."

The lovely and most likely hand-carved curved wood over the cover was designed to fit perfectly when closed. When opened, it was designed to tuck itself out of the way into the empty space -- or should I say "up until very recently empty space" -- the space which now contained a small but expensive and valuable piece of plastic and electronics.

Initial expectations that I might simply be able to open the piano and retrieve it were quickly dashed when I realized this neverland area was self-contained and apparently inaccessible from any other direction.

The only way that it was coming out was to reverse the path that sent it in. Of course, the path *in* had the assistance of gravity and a lovingly hand-carved curve. The path out had, as its only hope, the dexterity and nimbleness of my fingers. You should note that these are not equal teams squaring off against one another. The piano had a definite advantage.

I decided to open it half-way (is it half-opened or half-closed? Well, no time to think about such things) and see if I could reach it.

You may not have ever looked at my hands, but they are roughly the size of cornish game hens, at least when compared to the carefully and probably handcrafted area into which they were currently being squeezed in a valiant yet seemingly futile effort to retrieve my phone.

I cursed my parents for not having had a daughter. Had their 3rd child been a daughter, she probably would have either had longer and thinner fingers or who would have paid closer attention to music class in Junior High and would not find herself taking a remedial music class at the age of 31, when one can no longer hold any reasonable expectation that ones fingers will transform from squat sausage links into nimble expressions of God's own grace.

Then I wondered what I would do if my hands became stuck. What if I managed to pop one of the Sausage Twins back there, only to find myself inextricably (but not inexplicably) up to my wrist in a piano? The office was closed, with no one likely to arrive for at least 17 hours. I could always call for help, assuming that I could dial the phone while it was still in the piano. More likely, it seemed I might manage to sever one of those muscles on the back of the hand that controls the movement of the fingers, which would, it occurred to me, be a definite detriment towards learning to play the piano.

General Wrist announced a hasty retreat, and we stood there, my thoughts and me, trying to come up with a plan.

"I need some string, and maybe some tape, or gum, and I'll fish it out," said my inner-MacGyver.

"Yeah right," said my inner teenager, "because what you're really well known for is your manual dexterity. Isn't that what got us here in the first place?" Then she sighed, rolled her eyes, put on her headphones and went off to her room.

"What if I tipped the piano enough to have it slide.... wait, no that won't work... besides, what would that accomplish?"

"Does the key cover come off?" [fyi: no. There are no visible signs of how it is attached, at least none that I could see. That's the problem with these hand-crafted things. Hard to disassemble.]

"Who do I know who has really long, thin fingers?"

"Right, 'cause that's a phone call you really want to make: 'Hi, I've noticed you have long, thin fingers, could you fish my phone out of the piano?'"

"I wonder if I can lift it with just my index fingers, if I can get them far enough in and get it from either side."

Sounded like the best idea so far. Having rest the rest of the ideas thus far, you know it's not an overly impressive accomplishment, something like being called the "Best Boy Band at the Grammys" but it had potential.

I slid my hands back towards the Chasm of Cell Phone Doom (remember that I had to also keep the piano key cover door half open/closed). I could barely reach it. If only they were a little longer. (Item 4,138,578 to ask God: "Why did You put the long finger in the middle, rather than next to the thumb where it could be more useful for things like fishing cell phones out of pianos? Just curious, Signed, Me")

I was able to turn the phone so that I could touch the ends of each of the long side, and I slid it into what seemed like a better reacquisition position. I focused my attention, took a deep breath, let it out, and stretched my hands out as wide and as flat as they would go. I inched them closer to the gap, and slid them down. They had not actually reduced any in size, despite any Zen-like aspirations that they would, but I could feel the edges of the phone under my finger tips. I squeezed my hands further into the space, ignoring the at logical but fleeting thought that if you're going to get your hands stuck in a piano and be captive for 17 hours, at least go to the bathroom first. I was not to be denied, I pressed onward and upwards... well, actually, inward.

I lifted both fingers in a concerted effort to keep the phone balanced during its ascent. The wood refused to give, and dug deeper into the back of my hand, but I knew it wasn't going to get easier if I tried again, every so very slowly I lifted. Two fingers were followed by 4, now that I could reach it a little better, and at last I released the captive from the belly of the beast... or at least the side pocket of the beast.

A cheer went up from the assembled crowd of "Inner Dialogians" - even Inner MacGyver was impressed. Inner-Teenager said, "If you hadn't dropped it in there in the first place... whatever.." Don't mind her, it's just a phase.

Within 2 minutes, the phone rang (fortunately it didn't ring during the extraction, or it certainly would have been dropped). It was a message my music instructor, informing me that tonight's class had been cancelled.

You can't make this stuff up.

Actually, I'm relieved the class was cancelled, for entirely unrelated reasons, the day has just been very chaotic, and being given 3 hours this evening is quite a gift. However I don't think I'll use it to practice any more for today. The marks on the backs of my hands have finally faded, and from now on I'll know to just put the phone on the bench next to me.

Posted by TjL at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Terrible. Disappointing. Bad script, entirely predictable. Waste of Jennifer Garner.

Well that pretty much says it, with about 10 seconds left over.

Want more?

Well, that's how you'd feel if you'd just wasted a parents' night out by going to see this movie.

Mind you, I am a huge Jennifer Garner fan, and was predisposed to really like this movie regardless of what it was. And it still disappointed.

They ought to take 50% of the profits and give it directly to her, because if anyone goes to see this movie, it'll be because of her. They'll be disappointed, however, to see that her character isn't really developed, isn't really given any complexity, isn't really unique in any way. Everything about her character is tired and worn cliché. In fact, the movie itself felt plagiarized out of the Handbook of Hackneyed Screenwriting.

Remember in the movie "Throw Momma from the Train" when Danny DeVito is trying to become a writer, and his teacher (Billy Crystal) is critiquing his story? He says something like, "There are only two characters, both of them wear hats, and one kills the other one." That's what this screenplay was like.

[Note: I don't consider anything said herein to be a "spoiler" because the movie is so completely predictable, but others might disagree.]

The plot outline for Elektra on IMDB reads: Elektra the warrior is released from the hospital after a near death experience to become an assasin. (more). Now you might think, from reading that plot outline, that by clicking the "more" link you would get more of a plot summary. You won't. You'll get other plot summaries. That's pretty much all they had to say about it, and that's plenty.

Of course they got some facts wrong. It wasn't a "near death experience" - it was DEATH! She died. We watched her heart stop beating (at least those of us who saw Daredevil did). But then when they realized how terrible that movie was, they realized there would be no sequel (sidenote: they ought to give 50% of all the profits for Daredevil to Jennifer Garner too; she was the best part of that movie). However, in the nuclear-waste-like crater of Daredevil, they realized that A) Jennifer Garner is hot, B) Jennifer Garner's character was the best one in that movie (not a huge accomplishment, but still something), and C) people will pay $7 to see just about anything Jennifer Garner might be in.

Only problem was that they had killed her in Daredevil. So there was a brief explanation that she went to see a guy who was a true master [don't ask me how she got there, all we see is her in an ambulance, and then we see her on his table with him feeling up her chakras or something]. He was sort of like a 2005 version of Mr. Miyagi, including the rubbing the hands together. Apparently rubbing your hands together can heal Ralph Macchio's led AND bring people back from the dead.

Anyway, True Masters can bring people back from the dead. So he brought her back from the dead. Then we see the mandatory Jennifer Garner fighting 8 people with sticks and kicking their butts, but Mr. Miyagi 2005 tells her that she doesn't have what it takes, too much anger, not enough insight. (Hrm... didn't Yoda say something like that to a young Luke Skywalker?) So Jennifer Garner, the tough as nails assassin, nearly cries as she says "I don't have anywhere else to go."

Mr. Miyagi 2005 doesn't care. He's the mandatory hard-ass instructor for the movie. By the way, his character is actually named "Stick" because he's good with (wait for it) a stick. There's also a guy named "Tattoo" who has... hrm, wait... what was it? Oh yeah, he has a lot of tattos. Of animals. They can come to life and peal off and go spy on people, or, ya know, eviscerate them. (There are some cool special effects there, if you happen to be lying on a couch unable to move to change the channel when this movie comes on TV and are forced to watch it, that will be the cool thing you haven't seen a thousand times before.) There's a guy who's skin is really hard, they call him (STOP, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS SO DON'T EVEN TRY!): "Stone". And there's a woman who breathes death on people, her name is Typhoid!

The people who came up with these names were about as creative as whoever came up with "fly" as the name of a little insect that flies around. The chief bad guy's name is "Kirigi" which I can only assume translates to "Bad Guy."

Anyway, Elektra leaves the camp and becomes a Bad Ass Assassin/Dominatrix. In the opening scene, we see her kill an unarmed man who we are clearly led to believe is a bad guy. You can already smell the moral struggle brewing (you can almost see the "I kill people, that can't be good for my karma" thought bubble over her head). She has trouble sleeping. This is an American movie, so the Bad Girl can't stay bad forever, ya know.

She gets a new assignment (she doesn't really want it, she's tired, but it's a lot of money). The new assignment involves waiting, "it's part of the deal" we're told. Hrm, sounds like a test to me, and since there are about 3 characters in the movie at this point, and two of them are talking, and the third was the guy who sent her away from the training camp because she was impatient, I wonder who could be setting up this test?!?!?

She's in a house on an isolated island somewhere, all alone except for the Handsome Guy Next Door and His Daughter. Hrm. So let me get this straight, she's all alone in the woods on an island somewhere, waiting for instructions on who she is supposed to kill, and now we find out there are two people next door. Really? They're the only ones around for miles? I wonder who she was sent there to kill. Maybe we could ask the neighbors if they could figure it out.

Oh wait! Never mind, the call finally comes, and OH MY STARS it's the Handsome Guy Next Door and His Daughter. Get the nitroglycerin, I think I may have a heart attack and die from the shock of that surprise.

So Elektra pulls out her Super Bad Ass Bow & Arrow, and lines up to shoot him from approximately a mile away. Apparently walking over under the guise of asking to borrow an egg and then skewering them would have been too easy. Fortunately they are both standing at the window, but neither one of them notices that the only neighbor for miles around is out on her porch in the middle of the day aiming the bow & arrow equivalent of a bazooka at the house. But he keeps moving around, and she keeps seeing the daughter. She can't do it. She's not going to do it. Wait! No, she is going to do it! COOL! No, no, I was wrong, she's not going to - WAIT, YES, HERE IT COMES!! Nope, she decided against it.

Instead she calls her agent, who says he'll send someone else. She feels badly, so she sticks around and kills the replacement guys. No worries about killing them, they were wearing masks, black masks, so they must be bad guys. "Why do they want them dead?" she wonders. Apparently she missed the scene at the very beginning of the movie where a narrator tells us that someone, a female, is supposed to balance the forces of good and evil, and that both good and evil where trying to recruit this female. Since absolutely no one is after Elektra, and the Good Guy sent her packing, that might suggest that it's a different female. Hrm... I wonder who it could be. The only other female is the 13 year old girl of whom it is repeatedly suggested is just like Elektra. I'm completely stumped by this mystery. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, back to the action. They need help, so Elektra goes to find Stick. So she heads to the Temple-Like Training Ground Where She Left Him..... No wait... That would have been the logical/consistent thing to do. Instead, she goes to the local pool hall, where Zen Master Stick is hustling one of the yokels. Why does Zen Master Stick spend his free time this way? You ask too many questions, young grasshopper, free your mind, think of nothing. Go with flow. The main reason seems to be to see him do a few cool pool shots, including one where he, ohmigosh, actually JUMPS ONE BALL WITH ANOTHER!!!!!! Whoa, dude. I kid you not, it was like, crazy, man. The guy clearly must be a Zen Master dude to make a shot like that.

After Stick's Shtick Scene, Elektra pleads for his help. He refuses. He's a bad-ass hard-ass cold-as-ice kinda guy. Of course a few minutes later Elektra is in peril. She breaks one of her Psis on "Stone" who apparently can't be hurt by anything except a falling tree, which causes him to vanish into thin air. The Bad Guys surround Elektra and the tension is mounting when JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME, Stick comes to the rescue. Wow, who could have seen THAT coming?

Stick can't do it himself, of course, he brings a large number of anonymous henchmen with him, but you know they're good guys because they are wearing white ninja robes and the bad guys are wearing black ninja robes. I'm telling you, these guys left no hackneyed symbol unturned in their quest for a fresh new movie, or at least a good opening weekend and hope to hang on long enough to make money.

So just when you thought there was finally going to be an extended fight scene where Elektra kicks everyone's butt or is forced to actually think her way out of something, she's rescued by a guy. Moral of the story: even strong women need a guy to save them. (Hey, don't yell at me, I didn't write this shlock.)

Cut to a scene at the camp where Elektra was formerly cast out. Cue scene between Young Girl Who Is a Lot Like a Young Elektra and Elektra. Cue "you know, we're really a lot alike" moment. Cue fight scene where Jennifer Garner whups a 13-year old's butt. HA! Some prodigy she turned out to be! Oh wait, now she's almost crying, what's this? Oh! She's just a kid. Yeah, this must be hard on her, especially after her mom was killed because her dad wouldn't hand her over to the bad guys. OH, sorry, was that some emotional character development going on? Sorry, outta time, gotta keep moving.

Elektra goes out and uses her magic powers to communicate with Chief Bad Guy through the smoky haze of a fire pit. (Does Verizon know about this? "Can you hear me now? No? Throw another log on the fire!") They agree that they'll fight it out, and the winner gets the kid. Wonder how that will go. You know, in a lot of other movies I've seen where they'll show the bad guy and the good guy (err, well, maybe the good guy a she, but if she's not going to be male, be sure her outfit only covers the parts of her required by law) fighting each other in like a "showdown".

Usually what happens is that the bad guy seems to be winning, seems unbeatable, the good guy^H^H^Hperson is all of a sudden unable to fight at all (even though they've previously whupped up to 30 bad guys at once). Then the good "person" will be disabled somehow, maybe shot, maybe knocked unconscious. Then they'll take the camera off them for a few seconds, because, you know, then the audience will forget all about them. We'd need some kind of distraction. HEY! Maybe the All-Powerful But Under-trained Kid could appear and try to save Elektra, and then nearly get killed but JUST IN TIME Elektra could spring back to life and save the day.

Of course once they get away from the Chief Bad Guy, all the Bad Guy Henchpeople are out there (even though they had AGREED that this was going to be just between them, apparently the Chief Bad Guy didn't live up to his end of the agreement. The nerve of some villains, I'll tell you...)

Then they get separated, the Elektra has to fight the Chief Bad Guy again, Tattoo Boy has a whole zoo coming out of him, and Bad Breath Mary is breathing on the kid. Elektra kills all the baddies, but the girl is dead.

OH NO! She's dead! Whatever will we do! That's pure tragedy, and really too bad. I mean, she's dead, it's not like there's anyone around who could bring her back to life.... Well, sure, if Elektra had stayed at Stick Camp, maybe she would have been able to learn how to do that. Wow, that guilt is going to stay with her for a long time... Wait... where are they going? Oh, she's bringing her into her mom's bedroom, the room where Elektra saw her mom die, and she saw a monster leaving through the window (that was one flashback... then in another, she realizes it wasn't a monster, it was a ninja [dressed in black so you know he's bad]... Gee, what bad guy could that be? OH WAIT! It's the Chief Bad Guy! What are the chances?! Of all the anonymous henchmen in the world, the one who killed her mom is the one who became the Big Bad Guy she had to kill. You're blowing my mind, man.

So the girl is dead, and so she lays her on the bed where her mom died. Wow, that's gotta be hard, seeing two people you loved dead on the same bed. Huh? Oh, now she's crying? Hrm... crying over a dead person, that might mean... wait, yes, yes, she's going to try to bring her back to life... No, I don't know why she didn't just do it outside where she found her, apparently resurrecting someone works better if they are laid on a Down comforter. Gee, I wonder if it'll work. That'd be nice, wouldn't it, if she could save this little girl on the same bed where he mom died who she couldn't save, especially since the little girl was sorta indirectly responsible for her mom's death? That'd be such a feel-good moment.

Well, I don't want to ruin the end for you, so I won't tell you any more. Boy, will you be every bit as surprised by the ending as you were by the rest of the movie.

One of the biggest problems this movie had to overcome is the fact that the three "Matrix" movies have significantly raised the bar for action/fight sequences. Much like movies after Star Wars in 1977, you can't get away with the same stuff that used to work. Not that everything needs to look like The Matrix, anymore than everyone needed to look like Star Wars. You just have to give us more than 5 minutes of brief fight scenes and expect that will captivate us.

CAST:
Elektra stars Jennifer Garner as Elektra. Jennifer Garner's abs, Jennifer Garner's chest, and Jennifer Garner's wardrobe are the main supporting characters (each should, in my opinion, be given Oscars, but that's really beside the point. Or maybe it isn't.)

Also stars "that guy from E.R. who they brought in to be the George Clooney-like handsome, oversexed-but-really-tortured-soul character after George Clooney left ER." Also that other guy who looks familiar but I can't remember from which movie. Oh yeah, he was in the first Star Wars. No, not that one, that one. Oh, and he was in the Superman movies, a couple of the early ones, not those later, terrible ones.

So by reading this you just saved $7 and about 90 minutes of your life. Spend it wisely. Maybe watch an Alias re-run or something.

Posted by TjL at 12:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Ethan is currently infatuated with Blue's Clues (he's a Steve guy), but most notably the "Mail Time" song.

For those of you who haven't seen the show (get yourself a kid and watch it, it's fun), when the mail arrives, they sing a song that goes something like

Here's the mail
it never fails
it makes me wanna wag my tail
when it comes I wanna wail MAIL!

There's more to the song, but that's the important part, because Ethan spends quite a bit of time each day singing (and by "singing" I mean "indulged yelling" because he's so adorable when he does it): "Make me wanna wah my tail -- MAAAAAIIIILLLLL!!!"

During which he'll frenetically shake his head. And arms. In fact, most of his body. And running around. (By the way, at what age do you lose the ability to run around while wagging your head frenetically without either falling down or throwing up or getting a raging headache?)

Note to self: video tape this to play at Ethan's wedding rehearsal dinner as part of emotional film montage to lead up to teary speech which will probably end with "I love you man" followed by a firm embrace.

Posted by TjL at 04:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So I had purchased an iPod accessory a few months ago from Target, only to find out I didn't need it.

Target is about an hour away, and so it took me awhile to a) go back and b) remember to bring it with me. I've had the receipt and the bag with me for months. You know the way it is, every time you turn around, there it is, "Oh yeah, I need to return that."

Finally got there today. No receipt. ARGH. I hate making a return without a receipt. But most places are fairly gracious about it, especially after Christmas. (Aside: now I know we're supposed to say "the holidays" but I'm fairly sure when we're talking about making returns after December 25th, we're talking about Christmas returns. These aren't Ramadan gifts or Kwanza gifts; no, when we're talking about the most highly commercialized holiday, you know we're talking about Christmas.)

So I hand it to the very pleasant woman behind the counter, and explain that I don't have my receipt and that I understand I can only get store credit and that's fine.

"It's not in the system," she tells me.

"Qua?" I said, which was strange, because I don't know French. Also, it was strange because I knew I bought it that particular store.

"I bought it at this store."

"How long ago?" she asked.

"Maybe October?"

"After 90 days, we can't return something, especially if we no longer sell the item." (It's not necessarily 90 days from October, but that's beside the point.)

Hrm. Well, not to be dissuaded that easily, I went (back) to Best Buy. Ethan managed to fall asleep just as I got there, so I carried him in on my shoulder.

Got to the returns counter (there were 4 people in front of me, and Ethan wasn't getting any lighter) and said, "I'd like to return this, if possible... I don't have a receipt.... store credit is fine."

"Let me see if we sell this," she said, picking up the phone. I was wondering why she didn't just scan it and see if it came up in the system, but whatever.

She paged "any available representative" from something like the television department. I'm not sure it was the television department, but it was some department that immediately made you think, "That's not where they'd have iPods" and since it was an accessory for an iPod, and Ethan wasn't getting any lighter, I thought I'd try to help.

"It's for an iPod," I offered, "you might want someone from audio or maybe computers?"

No response. Apparently I had triggered my Cloak Of Invisibility again.

A few seconds later, a man in a Best Buy shirt came over. He had an air of authority that said "I'm not just an associate" without the clenched corporate tense look that made you think he was the store manager slumming it with the commoners. My guess is that he had been an Associate who had been recently promoted but who still thought of himself as Just One of the Guys. Whatever the case, I'll call him Assistant Manager Guy (AMG). Whoever he was, he was clearly not the person she was expecting.

"What are you doing? You don't work there," she said.

"I'm helping out wherever... What do you need?" Assistant Manager Guy asked.

"Do we sell this?" she asked him.

"Did ya scan it?"

"Well, I've scanned things before that we don't sell and they've come up." (At this point I believe he rolled his eyes.)

At this point, an associate from the department in question. "What do you need?" he asked.

"Do we sell this? she asked him.

"Did ya scan it?" (I tried to stifle a laugh, not so much for her as I didn't want to wake Ethan.)

She started to give her little speech again when Assistant Manager Guy said, "Just scan it."

She scanned it. *Beep* Immediate recognition. "There ya go," said Assistant Manager Guy, who started to walk away.

Not to be so easily persuaded, she picked up the phone, "I'm going to call [Department Manager Guy] just to make sure we sell it."

At this point I'm quite sure they both rolled their eyes. Ethan still wasn't getting any lighter. Assistant Manager Guy did walk away. So did Department Associate Guy.

Fortunately, Department Associate Guy walked 10 feet over to a display, picked up the same item I was trying to return, and called over. He waved it over his head.

She hung up the phone and processed the return.

Ethan never even woke up.

I really envy him.

Posted by TjL at 02:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Opera Beta for Mac: http://snapshot.opera.com/mac/m80p1.html

Opera Beta for Linux: Google Group announcement of Opera Beta for Linux/FreeBSD

Posted by TjL at 10:15 PM | Permalink

Buy Opera for $24USD/€19.53+VAT/£13.78.

I'm not sure how long this will last. Buy a license now and get a free upgrade to the next version of Opera (currently called "Opera Beta" or "Opera 8" depending on who you ask. You will be buying a license for Opera7.)

(Disclaimer: I am not getting any proceeds of the sale of Opera through that link, I just happened to come across it.)

Posted by TjL at 02:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

So, you're an ACT! user on Windows, looking to switch to Mac. You're wondering what you'll do.

I'm here to help.

A little background on me. I'm an ACT user for several years (4-5). I love ACT! (However, I'm going to call it just "ACT" and not "ACT!") I love the way it works, I love the way it organizes me. I used ACT for several hours a day, keeping phone appointments, meetings, and to-dos. ACT kept me going.

Unfortunately, ACT was the only good thing about using Windows. The constant barrage of spyware and viruses and a general feeling of not knowing what was going on with my computer made me want to switch to Mac OS X.

No doubt in my mind that it was a good move. There's only one drawback: no ACT. ACT for Mac was discontinued in 2000. Sure, you could get an old version (ACT 2.8 for Mac was the last version, released on 1997-08-18, but it isn't meant for OS X) and you would most likely have to re-enter all your ACT data (no importing your ACT for Windows data).

You have a few options. The best one will be a personal decision, but I'll let you know some of the pluses and minuses of each from my perspective.

There are generally two decisions to be made:

1. Keep using ACT, or
2. Start using a Mac OS X app.

If you want to keep using ACT, you have a few possibilities:

1) VirtualPC. This is probably the first thought that comes to your mind. VirtualPC will let you run Windows inside your Mac OS X computer. Drawbacks: It's slow. It's expensive. It has to be running all the time (meaning that your computer will run slower). I was unable to get ACT to sync with ACT for Palm when running inside VirtualPC (which made it a whole lot less convenient).

2) ACT on WINE. WINE (Wine Is Not an Emulator) will let you run Windows apps without VirtualPC. There is something called Darwine which "intends to port and develop WINE as well as other supporting tool." Unfortunately it is not ready yet, at least as far as I could tell. Actually I could find no information on running ACT under WINE (see final note below)

3) ACT! for Web is available, but there's no price listed on the website (scary). WebAct is not yet released, and appears to be a commercial product. Each require that you have a web server at your disposal. ACT for Web requires IIS. I have no idea how well these work, but a web solution would be handy.

4) Keep your old PC around. Drawbacks: have to have two computers. That takes up room and space, and you have to maintain a separate computer. It's not particularly convenient. But it's free, you don't have to learn anything new, you don't have to buy anything new.

If you want to start using a Mac OS X app, you have two basic choices.

1) Now Up-to-Date & Contact is a nice solution, in that you can use it in Windows and Mac. If I had not used any calendar/contact software before, I probably would have chosen that just for that reason alone. However, I really didn't like the design/user interface. It looked a bit like a toy or something. I don't have a good, empirical reason here, I just didn't care for the way it looked. That's a completely subjective response that should not stop anyone else from trying it. You should try it on principle, because they were the first ones to support ACT customers when Mac was dropped and I think that ought to count for something.

2) DayLite from Marketcircle also has a very nice product. Again I'm not thrilled with the user interface (most likely because I'm so used to ACT!), but it does seem a bit more professional looking. It lacks good intergration with the menu bar (something Now Up to Date offers). It also silently quits (on purpose) when you HotSync.

(By the way, both Daylte and Now-Up-to-Date are priced about the same. DayLite is Mac only.)

So I know you're dying to know, which solution did I pick?

Well, first I tried VirtualPC. It seemed like the most obvious solution. But keeping VPC running all the time was a major drag, and once I couldn't get the HotSync to work, it was useless. What happened most of the time is that I only launched VPC when I really needed it, which made it far too slow. It also meant that if VPC wasn't running, I couldn't use ACT to organize my day.

Next I tried keeping my old PC around. I just left it plugged in on my desk all the time. That was fine, except that it took too much desk space, and I couldn't bring it with me (I'm not about to start carrying TWO laptops around!) wherever I went. I relied heavily on ACT for Palm when I was away from my computer, but the alarm feature stinks. If you don't hear it the first time, it doesn't repeat. It doesn't integrate into the Palm alert manager either, which was a pain. And it meant that I always had to have my phone with me whenever I wasn't with my old PC. I don't use my cell phone at home, so I'd often miss reminders.

Finally I decided that I really needed something that ran on the Mac, that would give me reminders on the Mac and on my Palm. Since I didn't like Now-Up-To-Date's user interfact, I bought DayLite. I'm starting to really like it and get used to the way it works. Their support is very responsive, even before I bought the program.

But there are some major drawbacks.

First, while integrating into the Palm Desktop (which both Mac apps do) is nice, it is not nearly as good as having a real Palm version like ACT has. If either Mac program came with a real Palm version, I'd recommend that in a heartbeat. One of the biggest drawbacks is that tasks and meetings and phone calls are no longer scheduled together. You have to use the calendar for meetings and the To Do list for tasks. ACT for Palm integrated these the way that ACT for Windows does.

Secondly, both apps make it far too difficult to link a task to a contact. Those who have worked in ACT know that it basically won't allow you to schedule a Call/Meeting/To-Do without first asking you to connect the task with a person (even if you cheat and connect it with yourself). This is especially important for meetings and calls. ACT easily let me see who I had a meeting/call with, and what the phone number was. In Daylite I had to hunt around for it. Worse, contact information is not available when synced to Palm's calendar, so I ended up with a whole lot of calendar items that say "Meeting" or "Birthday" on the Palm without telling me who it was for. So now I have to schedule an event and put the person's name and phone number in the field. This is a waste of time and highly error prone.

Finally, it is not customizable. ACT allowed me to easily change the way that the information in the database was displayed. Neither Mac apps do that (to my knowledge). Even the way completed tasks are handed: in DayLite you either delete them or mark them 'Completed' but they still appear. In ACT I had set completed tasks to be hidden, so I could see in an instant how many remaining tasks were left. ACT would also let me see all my To-Do/Calls/Meetings in the calendar or just some of them (either by category or by priority, low, med, high). That was another feature of ACT that I liked - it made it difficult to assign a task without scheduling time to do it.

After a few weeks of working solely with DayLite, I can say that I like having an app on my Mac that keeps my calendar and contacts right there so I don't have to boot into VirtualPC. I like that it integrates better into the Palm alert manager. However, the user interface is still lacking, and the absense of a real Palm client makes me reconsider going back to ACT.

I recently learned of a new option: Remote Desktop Connection. This is a variation on #4 above (keep your old PC around) except that you can display and control it on your Mac. (NOTE: this feature is only available on PCs with Windows XP Pro.) Basically this free app will let you connect to your PC and control it just as if you were sitting in front of it. What that means is that the processing is done on the remote computer (PC) but displayed on the Mac. This is a highly attractive solution which offers me the ability to work in ACT without having VirtualPC bogging down my machine. And it is free.

Performance over a LAN is great. You almost wouldn't realize it wasn't a Mac OS X application. I even used it over a 28.8 modem connection (with settings tweaked) and it was do-able (note: doing this was only possible because I was able to port forward my office LAN so I can connect from the Internet to the computer in question. That may not be possible for everyone.) If I had broadband at home, this would definitely be my solution to the problem (note: the app also has support for multiple monitors).

Conclusion: I wish I had never met ACT because I could probably be happy with DayLite or Now-Up-To-Date otherwise. But trying to live without ACT is the hardest part of leaving Windows. It has been months and I still have no good solution to the problem. Until there is a program which offers a real Palm client, I think ACT is going to continue to be the best option for me in terms of functionality, with some additional problems regarding ease of use when not at the office.

A final note to software makers: for the love of pete, give your software a unique name. Have you ever tried Googling for "ACT"? It's largely useless, far too many meaningless hits. "Now Up to Date" isn't much better. Very hard to be specific (especially when some people abbreviate it) and get good results. DayLite was a good choice.

(March 7 Update: If you use ACT for Palm and have a wireless internet connection, you might also be interested in ACT Wireless HotSync.

Posted by TjL at 04:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Many of you know that I used to post my sermons here regularly. That was back when I was preaching once a month and it was much easier to keep up. I don't always preach from a manuscript anymore, so I don't always have a written version.

This past Sunday I was wrestling with the destruction of the earthquake and tsunamis, and I offer it for others who may not only have difficulties with it, especially as it relates to faith in God. I know some don't believe in God and this just looks like more evidence for them. I doubt I'll convince them otherwise, and that's not really my goal. I know some believe and are able to not worry to much about what such a tragedy means to their faith or understanding of God.

But many will. I hope I can speak a word to them, not so much an explanation, as I have none to offer, but a word of understanding and perhaps even hope.

Wisdom
02 Jan 2005
Rev. Timothy Luoma
Gallipolis First Presbyterian Church
[Note: the sermon was part of a service where we celebrated communion.]

I had this whole idea for today’s sermon worked out. This is the day that we traditionally celebrate Epiphany, the arrival of the wise men from the east.

I had several interesting tidbits to share with you, such as the fact that the Bible doesn’t call them Kings, although we traditionally sing “We Three Kings” on this Sunday. For that matter, the Bible doesn’t say that there were three of them. We probably assume there were three because they presented 3 gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I’ve got some trivia about those gifts as well.

Those seeds of a sermon were coming together around some of those thoughts.

But that was before an earthquake and tsunamis struck.

When I first heard about the tragedy right after last week’s worship service, the initial numbers were terrible: 11,000 dead. The number seemed to double every time I heard a report. Yesterday, estimates passed 150,000 dead and 5 million without homes. With so much destruction, the actual number may never be known.

150,000 is a number nearly too large to comprehend.

It is the total estimated population of Savannah, Georgia. It far exceeds the population of Gainesville, Florida where we used to live.

Ohio State University had the highest reported enrollment for 2004 with almost 51,000 students registered for 2004. The University of Minnesota and University of Texas (Austin) were right behind with over 50,000 each. Imagine all the students from those 3 universities wiped out in a single day. Or all the students at Penn State’s main campus and all the students from the University of Florida and all the students from the University of Michigan.

- Indonesia: At least 80,246 people were killed on Sumatra island, the government said. The health minister said Friday the country's toll could rise to 100,000.

- Sri Lanka: Some 28,729 killed. About 1 million people were displaced.

- India: The government said 8,942 deaths have been confirmed but nearly 4,000 more were missing in India's remote Andaman and Nicobar Islands, just north of Sumatra.

- Thailand: The government said 4,812 people died, including 2,230 foreigners.

The earthquake registered as a 9.0, making it the 4th largest recorded since 1900, and by far the largest since 1964.

The largest struck Chile in 1960, killing over 2000, leaving 2 million homeless, and caused about $700 million in damage.

The second largest struck Prince William Sound in 1964, killing 125 and causing $311 million in property damage.

The third largest struck Alaska in 1957, causing over $5million in damage but no loss of life.

Another earthquake the same size struck in 1952, causing approximately $1.5 million in damage, but no lives lost.

By my rough addition, those previous earthquakes killed less than 3,000 people and caused less than $2 billion in damage.

Preliminary estimate of the damage caused by this tragedy is over $13 billion. Even adjusting for inflation, this is far worse than all other combined, and the death toll is staggering.

3,000 miles of coastland was devastated by the tsunami. That’s twice the distance from Boston to Miami; roughly the distance from Boston to Los Angeles.

What do you say in the face of such a disaster?

I don’t know.

I don’t know what to say.

I can’t fathom the destruction. I can’t take in the death toll.

I feel like I should have something wise to say, something that will make it easier to understand or easier to accept. I have no such words.

That’s the best I can do. I don’t understand it any more than you do. If this was something caused by a person or a group or a country, we could rail against the evils of humanity. But this wasn’t caused by any group. Nor do I think this was caused by God’s wrath against the people of these countries. Scientists might be able to explain what happened, how the ground shifted and caused the energy to be released, how that translated into several different tidal waves, but no one can explain why. You’d be a fool to try,

An awful lot of life is like that. We’d like to be able to explain it all, to understand it, to be able to give grand speeches and hear comforting messages, to uncover some answer that will help us figure it all out.

But we don’t get it, most of the time. Most of the time we’re left with no good words to say, no good explanations of why, no quick remedy for the pain and suffering we see around us. That’s the reality of the world as far as I can tell. If we try to force out some words, it’s probably mostly to help us try to deal with our own discomfort. We can end up saying things that don’t help, or even make people feel worse.

Sometimes it’s best to admit you just don’t know why, you don’t know what to say. Sometimes it’s best not to try and explain what we can’t explain, but just be there with it. Be with those who are suffering, with those who have lost loved ones or who fear they have.

When the wise men arrived on the scene, all the Bible tells us is that they presented gifts. It doesn’t record anything that they said. Maybe that’s on purpose. Maybe they didn’t have any words. All they could do was set down what they had at the foot of the stall where Jesus was and be there. Maybe sometimes there are some things that are just too wonderful to be tainted with words. Maybe some things are just too terrible to be softened with words.

I don’t remember anything that anyone said the day that Ethan was born. There were a lot of people talking, and I’m sure I was too. But there was a whole lot that just went beyond anything we could say.

A few of you know that we were supposed to have another baby before Ethan was born. He didn’t develop right in his legs and his spine. He never really had a chance. It wasn’t anything I did or Tracey did or anyone did. It’s just the way it happened. After about 20 weeks gestation, he was born but he never had a heartbeat, never took a breath. According to the science of life, he never really lived. We named him Gabriel. I don’t remember anything that was said the day Gabriel came into the world either. I know there were a lot of people talking, I don’t think either of us said much. There was a whole lot that just went beyond anything we could say.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is just put down what we have and kneel.
Maybe that’s what made me realize part of how amazingly wonderful and fragile life is, how precious and how terrible it can be. It makes having Ethan in our lives that much more special. Maybe that’s part of what makes it so hard to imagine 150,000 sons and daughters, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, lovers, friends could be lost so quickly.

Science might be able to explain part of the what, but it can’t explain the why. No one really can. You’d be a fool to try.

But here’s what I learned, what I’m learning, what I believe… I still believe in a God who is good, even though terrible things happen with no good reason why. I still believe in a God who loves us, even when there’s too much tragedy and death and sadness. I still believe in a God who’s strong, even though there are so many times when I wonder why God doesn’t stop something from happening. I believe in a God who loves us and cares for us, who lives with us, who lived like one of us. I believe in a God powerful enough and mysterious enough to know that He was somehow with each one of the 150,000 victims of the earthquake and tidal waves ever bit as much as I believe that He was with Gabriel every step along the way.

I may not know the answers for why God doesn’t prevent all these terrible things from happening, but I believe in a God who is not absent and away from it all, but a God who is right down in the thick of it with us. If we needed any more proof of that, we have this season of Christmas when He was born as a fragile little baby, and we have this celebration of communion. It’s a celebration not of everything going right and life being simple. It’s a remembrance of Jesus’ sometimes-painful and confusing life in the midst of our sometimes painful and confusing lives. It’s a remembrance of Jesus’ death in the midst of the sadness we feel during the holidays and other times for our loved ones who have died, for those who have died too young, too unexpectedly, too unfairly. It’s a remembrance of Jesus’ resurrection, when we remember that the terrible and the awful and the bad don’t win in the end. We might not be able to explain exactly the how, but we believe that when it comes down to the end, God wins, and He chooses all of us to be part of the victory celebration.

So we come to the table, without all the answers. We come and we just lay down what we have and sit and be quiet, in the midst of all the questions we can’t answer and all the questions we want to ask. Amid all the sadness and pain and death, we stop and take a piece of the bread of hope, and drink a bit from the cup of faith, and we’ll remember that we’re not alone, that God has given us each other, and God Himself is with us through it all.

AMEN.

Posted by TjL at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)