t 'n t luoma

Finally got there today. No receipt. ARGH. I hate making a return without a receipt. But most places are fairly gracious about it, especially after Christmas. (Aside: now I know we're supposed to say "the holidays" but I'm fairly sure when we're talking about making returns after December 25th, we're talking about Christmas returns. These aren't Ramadan gifts or Kwanza gifts; no, when we're talking about the most highly commercialized holiday, you know we're talking about Christmas.)

So I hand it to the very pleasant woman behind the counter, and explain that I don't have my receipt and that I understand I can only get store credit and that's fine.

"It's not in the system," she tells me.

"Qua?" I said, which was strange, because I don't know French. Also, it was strange because I knew I bought it that particular store.

"I bought it at this store."

"How long ago?" she asked.

"Maybe October?"

"After 90 days, we can't return something, especially if we no longer sell the item." (It's not necessarily 90 days from October, but that's beside the point.)

Hrm. Well, not to be dissuaded that easily, I went (back) to Best Buy. Ethan managed to fall asleep just as I got there, so I carried him in on my shoulder.

Got to the returns counter (there were 4 people in front of me, and Ethan wasn't getting any lighter) and said, "I'd like to return this, if possible... I don't have a receipt.... store credit is fine."

"Let me see if we sell this," she said, picking up the phone. I was wondering why she didn't just scan it and see if it came up in the system, but whatever.

She paged "any available representative" from something like the television department. I'm not sure it was the television department, but it was some department that immediately made you think, "That's not where they'd have iPods" and since it was an accessory for an iPod, and Ethan wasn't getting any lighter, I thought I'd try to help.

"It's for an iPod," I offered, "you might want someone from audio or maybe computers?"

No response. Apparently I had triggered my Cloak Of Invisibility again.

A few seconds later, a man in a Best Buy shirt came over. He had an air of authority that said "I'm not just an associate" without the clenched corporate tense look that made you think he was the store manager slumming it with the commoners. My guess is that he had been an Associate who had been recently promoted but who still thought of himself as Just One of the Guys. Whatever the case, I'll call him Assistant Manager Guy (AMG). Whoever he was, he was clearly not the person she was expecting.

"What are you doing? You don't work there," she said.

"I'm helping out wherever... What do you need?" Assistant Manager Guy asked.

"Do we sell this?" she asked him.

"Did ya scan it?"

"Well, I've scanned things before that we don't sell and they've come up." (At this point I believe he rolled his eyes.)

At this point, an associate from the department in question. "What do you need?" he asked.

"Do we sell this? she asked him.

"Did ya scan it?" (I tried to stifle a laugh, not so much for her as I didn't want to wake Ethan.)

She started to give her little speech again when Assistant Manager Guy said, "Just scan it."

She scanned it. *Beep* Immediate recognition. "There ya go," said Assistant Manager Guy, who started to walk away.

Not to be so easily persuaded, she picked up the phone, "I'm going to call [Department Manager Guy] just to make sure we sell it."

At this point I'm quite sure they both rolled their eyes. Ethan still wasn't getting any lighter. Assistant Manager Guy did walk away. So did Department Associate Guy.

Fortunately, Department Associate Guy walked 10 feet over to a display, picked up the same item I was trying to return, and called over. He waved it over his head.

She hung up the phone and processed the return.

Ethan never even woke up.

I really envy him.