With something to offend nearly anyone….
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life… (Inside card) - I’ve changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life… (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think how lucky I am…. (Inside card) - That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go…. (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to marry… (Inside card) - Someone other than you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.. (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
When we were together, you said you’d die for me… (Inside card) - Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
We’ve been friends for a very long time… (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
I’m so miserable without you… (Inside card) - It’s almost like you’re still here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy…. (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket… (Inside card) - I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday… (Inside card) - So we’re having you put to sleep.
Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder (Inside card) - What was I thinking?
Congratulations on your wedding day!… (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas and certain areas of the Carolinas)