If you have just forwarded yet another bogus email to a friend and they sent you here, welcome, because we are here to help you. Please repeat the following list 100 times or you will be eaten by a large red space alien in your sleep.
I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I don’t forward an email!
I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I DO forward an e-mail.
Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift certificate they’re supposed to send me, and Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people.
I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca-Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail … NEVER!!!!
My phone will NOT MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward an e-mail. There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people.
There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 20 years old and DOESN’T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, CALLING CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.
The government does NOT have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.
There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail.
The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross does RECEIVE donations.
I WILL research new virus alerts and other security warnings using and before I send it on to anyone.
I WILL learn that major companies like AOL, CNN, MSNBC, anti-virus companies, and any other company that might be related to any sort of virus or security alerts WILL ALWAYS post an official notification on their website, and they will NOT rely on the haphazard scheme of asking you to forward the message to your friends to get the word out. If you get an email claiming to be from CNN, go to , et cetera.
And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don’t believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!
Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out!!