Ok, well he clearly cheated, because he only read the Old Testament, plus he seems to have read them out of order (*), but David Plotz is deputy editor who wondered aloud “What happens when an ignoramus reads the Good Book?”
His introduction grabbed my attention (as if the sub-title wasn’t enough):
I have always been a proud Jew, but never a terribly observant one. Several weeks ago, I made a rare visit to synagogue for a cousin’s bat mitzvah and, as usual, found myself confused (and bored) by a Hebrew service I couldn’t understand. During the second hour of what would be a ceremony of NFL-game-plus-overtime-length, I picked up the Torah in the pew-back, opened it at random, and started reading (the English translation, that is).
I was soon engrossed in a story I didn’t know, Genesis Chapter 34. It begins with the rape of Jacob’s daughter Dinah by Shechem, the son of a local chief named Hamor. Shechem and Hamor visit Jacob and his brothers to resolve the mess. Hamor begs on Shechem’s behalf: Shechem loves Dinah, he says, and yearns to marry her. Hamor and Shechem offer to share their land with Jacob’s family and pay any bride price if only Dinah would be Shechem’s wife.
If you don’t know the story, you should, and what happens next is one of my favorite stories of the Bible. I knew I’d like his approach.
Slate offer a but I made my own of the printer friendly versions so I can read them as I have time. And what better place to store that list than on my website?
(*) Oh and in case anyone didn’t get the joke or just thinks I’m an idiot, Mr. Plotz is Jewish, so his “Bible” of course doesn’t have an Old/New Testament, it’s just “The Bible” and Judaism has a to the books than .