A Twiddiots Guide to the Bible

June 4, 2008

So the MacBreakWeekly folks where talking about the Bible today and they had some “Hey, I’d like to know a little bit about the Bible” stuff, so here’s some hopefully interesting Biblicious factoids.

  • 4 Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John.
    • Matthew: written for a Jewish audience, serves as a connection from the “Old” Testament to the “New”. Gives a nice genealogy. On the other hand, the Jewish leaders who opposed Jesus are treated most harshly.
    • Mark: Assumed to be written 1st of the 4 official Gospels. Barebones, everything seems to happen “immediately”. Probably written by a disciple of Peter.
    • Luke: Believed to be written by a physician. Has the most parables. Luke also wrote “Acts” the 1st book after the 4 Gospels
    • The first 3 are called “synoptic” gospels, which means “of one eye” since they mostly talk about overlapping events. John is different.
    • John: is believed to be written MUCH later. Contains much more developed imagery, theology, abstractions. Of course has the famous John 3:16 (For God so loved the world that God sent His only Son…). Probably written down by a disciple of John.
    • If Mark is 1st, and Matthew and Luke have things in common with Mark, we assume they read/heard about Mark. But what about stuff that is in Matthew and Luke but is not in Mark? Scholars assume there must be another source, which is called “The Q” which sounds all mystical and fancy, but is just based on the German word for “Source”. A lot has been said about Q but there is absolutely no empirical evidence that it ever existed.
  • The letters, especially the letters of the Apostle Paul, are believed to have been written down much earlier than the Gospels. That is to say: the books are not listed in chronological order.
  • There are other Gospels. Anyone who read The da Vinci Code knows this already (aside: that book was a great novel and terrible history, no serious church historian takes it seriously, at least none that I am aware of). The Gospels of Thomas and Judas are perhaps the most famous, but none are generally believed to be as reliable as the 4 listed above, for various and mostly boring reasons.
  • Yes, the “Jesus Seminar” tries to indicate what is more- or less- likely to be actual sayings of Jesus, but they can’t really prove much conclusively. Also, you’ll find a whole lot of books about trying to find the “historical” Jesus. That’s pretty difficult to try to find, and not a great use of your time, IMO.
  • Please ignore the book of Revelation entirely, any movie made about it, or anyone you see on television who is talking about it.
  • Kirk Cameron is to Christianity as Ronald McDonald is to fine dining.
  • If you are interested in some academic-but-accessible Biblical criticism, checkout Bart Ehrman’s writing (and yes Leo, you can even get an audiobook of one of his books)

Update: My recommendation to ignore the book of Revelation is that, to beginners and non-believers (who are the only ones I expect to learn much from such a beginner’s guide) is that it is the culmination of the previous 66 books, and needs very careful study, or else you are likely to get some whack-job trying to tell you that 666 refers to some modern political figure. The Revelation is like a scalpel, in the right hands, a powerful tool; in the wrong hands, a dangerous weapon.

I have not watched the video mentioned in the comments below, and therefore can’t vouch for it.

To Doug Stewart: I include the Gnostic Gospels because they exist, and calling them “vile heresies” is not going to do much to dissuade non-believers from being interested in them. You might try engaging people in a discussion as to why they are discounted by many, perhaps most. It will take more than dismissive Christian-specific jargon.

To ChrisMtP: I don’t agree that “fear” is the word that I would want to emphasize. A more consistent word might be “love” (the perfected form of which is said to cast out fear, as well as the explanation from John 3:16 as to why Jesus came to earth from heaven.) As for what will matter in 1,000 years, well, stuff? Probably nothing, but what will we do today, what will we do tomorrow? That will matter today, and tomorrow, and perhaps for eternity.

  • That's a good summary.

    I couldn't agree more about the whole Kirk Cameron thing. It seems in Christianity the least intelligent are the most outspoken.
  • Great Comments. A great understanding of the book of Revelation is by Rob Bell, when he spoke at a Willow Creek Conference. You can watch it here.

    Sorry for the long url if the coding didn't work.
  • A few points, if I may:

    1) Why do you discount Revelation? On what grounds?

    2) Why bring up the "Gospels" of Judas and Thomas? These are two of the best-known Gnostic texts and are regarded as vile heresies by most serious Christian scholars.

    3) The New Testament is indeed grouped more by subject matter than by chronology. Gospels -> Salvation by faith -> works driven by faith might accurately describe the overall flow.
  • That's interesting advice to ignore Revelations. If we could all just keep in mind we may meet God and be standing before Him tomorrow that would keep our lives in grave perspective. Revelations is so fantastic and mysterious, it should be read with one mental foot planted firmly on earth and one foot tiptoed into eternity. Fear it. Understand that there are some things coming that are way beyond our finite comprehension. It helps me remember that a new iPhone would be cool but in 1000 years how much will that really matter?
  • "Kirk Cameron is to Christianity as Ronald McDonald is to fine dining"

    phenomenal.
  • Well done.

    Re ChrisMtP's comment and your response, I read "fear" as "awe". Sometimes in life (if you're lucky) you find yourself confronted with something huge and magnificent and powerful and unknowable and completely outside of your sphere of influence. That experience causes you to feel a kind of healthy fear - a shock as you realize that your human perspective can't encompass everything.

    One time I was at Sea World, watching the killer whales through a window set below the water line in their pool. Suddenly one of them swam right up to the window; and an animal that seconds before had looked like a toy became a *freaking giant whale* about six inches away from me. In that moment I feared it and loved it at the same time, for the same reasons.
  • ChrisMtP
    Rev 19:5 And a voice came out of the throne, saying, Praise our God, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small and great.

    Yes then our love will be perfected. That will be a great time standing around the throne; and praising the Lamb.
  • TJ, great stuff. I'm a New Testament scholar (in a life put on hold). I happen to be more of a Matthian priorist, but I won't fault you for listing the majority opinion. ;)

    A really great book for those who are unfamiliar with the Bible and/or scared of Revelation is _The Rapture Exposed_ by Barbara Rossing. Great book that offers a lot of answers to the kinds of things you are cautioning against.

    Not to be a shill, but I have some papers posted on my site that you might find interesting. One on Acts 13:25, one on Revelation, and two on Shepherd of Hermas.

    At any rate, I'm glad to have found your site (via TUAW btw). I follow you on Twitter (via @hotdogsladies) and enjoy reading your stuff there.

    Cheers,
    JP
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