A concerted effort was made to write this entry

So I guess it’s time I ’fessed up… We’re going to see Guns ‘N’ Roses on Friday.

I guess it would be more accurate to say that Tracey is going to see Guns ‘N’ Roses (aka GNR), and I’m going with her.

This is my fault. I am on the mailing list for a few concert venues around here and when the email came in announcing the GNR concert, I said “Wow, aren’t they dead??” And then I said, laughingly, to Tracey, “Guns and Roses are on tour.”

Although I’m sure her initial reaction was “Wow, aren’t they dead?” what she actually said was “When? Where? I’m totally going to that.”

To which I said “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?”

She explained that GNR was the one concert she never got to go to during her misspent youth. To me this would seem akin to missing a sharp stick in the eye — something to be grateful about, not something to try to rectify 20 years later.

But because I love her, I went online at the appointed hour, dutifully purchased two tickets, and informed Tracey of my actions:

“Two tickets? You’re coming with me?” “Of course.” “Ok, well if you’re coming with me, you can’t make fun of me for going.” “Yeah right.”

At least she tried.

As if the story wasn’t fun enough already, this just arrived in my INBOX:

I have many questions. First of all, who the heck is that guy in the picture? Surely it’s not the beloved teenage 80s bad boy heartthrob Axel Rose.

For those of you who don’t remember, never knew, or had ECT to forget, that there over on the left is what Axl Rose looks like. Or did. Does that picture above show what he looks like now?

But that is only the least of my questions. More pressing questions include “Who the heck is working the artificial intelligence program at Ticketmaster?” As I read down that list I think “Oh, well I suppose if I enjoyed GNR I might possibly enjoy a Pink Floyd cover band… So far so good…. wait… Kenny Rogers?!?! Good lord, who in their right mind connected GNR fans with Kenny———wait…. wait… what… the WIGGLES?!?! The Wiggles?!?!?!?”

After I stopped screaming I realized that “Upcoming events you might enjoy” is just another way of saying “Upcoming Events at this same location.” So why not just say that?

PS - anyone who’s seen Kenny Rogers lately (i.e. on American Idol last year) realizes that the man has had some poorly done plastic surgery. But I wonder if I was the only one who looked at him and thought: “Oh my g** they killed Kenny’s face!”

Then again he’s still not as scary looking as this guy: