I write to you from a table about 1 yard (that’s about 1 meter for my international readers) in circumference. I am sitting on a hard wooden chair about 20 yards (that’s about 20 meters for my international readers) from more comfortable chairs. The chair was designed clearly designed my a Finnish Dutch Calvinist who believed that we ought to repent for our sins through pain in the gluetus maximus.
Actually, I presume the chairs were designed to prevent people from lounging here for longer than absolutely necessary.
So where am I? I’m in Dulles Airport in Washington, DC. I have alluded to my international readers, and my recent request for RSS feedback has led me to realize that most of my readers, at least most of my readers who care about RSS, are international readers. This is no doubt because of the copious amounts of information regarding Opera, and Opera users are not only smarter than the average person, they are most often international. (By the way, I have deduced this from my own thoughts.)
As a service to my international readers, I will, from time to time, try to provide guides or helps for dealing with the English language. Someone who is learning English might look at “Dulles” and be tempted to pronounce it as the plural of “dull” (boring, unexciting, etc). That would, however, be incorrect. The correct pronunciation is “dul-LEZ” (almost like “Dallas” with a “U”). I’ve never been good at explaining how to pronounce things, especially in text.
I am sitting outside a Starbucks, actually I am next to a Starbucks, outside of “Rent-a-cellular” which provided me with a wireless connection for $9.95. I am flying from Ohio to Rhode Island, and the cheapest way to go was through Dulles International Airport. There is an old saying that you can either save time or money, but not both. That is certainly true in this case. By saving money, I had to accept a connection. That didn’t seem too bad, because it was only 50 minutes.
Note I said “was.”
A few days ago I received a note from my travel agent informing me that my 1:30 p.m. flight had been changed to 11:30 a.m. Now on Monday, it’s going to cost me $25 to change my flight (on this same airline) from 3pm to 12noon. That seems unfair, doesn’t it? After all, they didn’t pay me $25 for changing my flight 2 hours earlier. What’s worse, my connecting flight was not moved up… in fact, it was pushed back 10 minutes. So instead of a 50 minute layover, I have a 3 hour layover.
I was actually looking forward to it. After all, this is a key airport in a major city in the US. There ought to be a lot of cool stuff here, right? Some interesting shops, maybe, to show to our international guests who travel to BLEEPING capital, right?
Well, as you may have guessed, there AIN’T.
There’s nothing here. Ok, there’s a Starbucks. And an Applebees or some clone thereof. But mostly there are just terminals. So I am going to start calling it “DULLez” (which explains why I spent $9.95 on wireless internet. There’s nothing else to do here.
Oh, and why am I sitting on this uncomfortable chair when there are more comfortable chairs not far from here (and an electrical outlet)? Because the wireless barely reaches over there, and if I’m paying $10 for 3 hours worth of Internet (when you can get a month’s worth of dialup for $20), you’d better believe I’m going to use as much as I can.
Dear international readers: if you come to the USA, try to land in Atlanta, which has a much more interesting airport.
The only interesting thing has been to watch the flood of people who arrive all at the same time at Starbucks, and 5 minutes later: nobody.
That’s the most interesting thing in the airport. And, my friends, when the most interesting thing you can do is watch pedestrian traffic at StarBucks, you are having a bad day. Or at least a DULL one.
At least I have my trusty Powerbook, and my iTunes library. I am currently listening to Queen. The temptation to sing out at the top of my lungs (for no other reason than to alleviate boredom) is nearly overwhelming. I would have to choose my song carefully though…. I don’t think anyone wants to hear someone singing “WE’RE JUST A-WAITING FOR THE HAMMER TO FALL” while they’re waiting for a plane.
I suppose I can wander over to my gate now. They’ll be bored-ing… oops, I mean “boarding” in a few minutes. I do think I’ll pick up a t-shirt to commemorate my experience while I’m here, because this is an unforgettable day… no matter how hard I try.